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Curious submissive.

Hey! I realized that my initial description sounded like I'm looking for sex. While yes that's certainly part of it.... I'm trying to heal myself. I've spent most of my life avoiding relationships. I have a ?habit? of forgetting myself and focusing my whole being on my partner when I agree to be with someone. But that same care and attention is not returned. In fact my trust and body become used and treated as an afterthought. Because of this I've noticed myself becoming more aggressive in protecting myself. Now I feel....disjointed, out of whack emotionally. I've even become violent in my attempt to not be ignored or thrown away. I'm in need, badly, of help to repair my mind and find the sense of who I am.

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My Public Sex preferences

What's your favorite public sex places?Um.....none?
Describe the riskiest place you have had a sexual encounter?Bathroom at McDonald's in Ohio

Appearance

EthnicityCaucasian / White
National heritageAmerican
BuildAverage
Height5' 8" (173 cm)
Eye ColorGrey
Hair ColorAuburn / red
Hair LengthShoulder length
Body ArtPierced... but only ear(s), Other
Health ConditionBipolar
Bra size34 / 75
Cup sizeDD
My attractiveness:Average

Situation

Has childrenChildren don't live with me
Wants kidsNo
Housing SituationThere is no noise
Living ArrangementsWith roomate(s)
Has a carNo

Education & Employment

EducationProfessional - Technical - Vocational School
SpecialtyFood / Catering
Employment StatusPart-time
Annual incomeSeeking support

Looking For

Must haveIntelligence, Humor, Great skills, Sensitivity, Boldness, Spontaneity, Wit, Thoughtfullness
My perfect matchI'm really not sure what to say here. I need him to be patient when I'm confused and calm when I'm breaking. To have the ability to break me out of an irrational fit of panic or anger and above all show me I matter.
Our first dateNot picky. But I'm uncomfortable in social situations. Example: bars, clubs, parties.

BDSM Preferences

I'm turned on byUnsure / New to this lifestyle, Bondage / Discipline (B&D), Domination / Submission (D&S)
My role isSubmissive
Experience levelBeginner
I enjoyBondage
My most pleasurable encounter wasUmmm......this is going to sound horrible. Guy I was playing with asked to come over and he brought...drugs. I was hesitant but he's aggressive in a way I automatically respond to so I agreed. 6 hours later I'm in complete bliss.

Sexual Activities

Night life:Intimate gatherings in my home, Movies

Sexual Interests

CybersexNo, I need the real thing
Oral Sex isMy favorite
Anal sex isNot my thing
Sex toys:Clitoral stimulator
Size matterSometimes, depends on the person
"Off Limits":Issues with choking. Slapping with intent to hurt. Anal needs extreme trust. Cutting. Anything with urine or feces.